Weddings are expensive

Ask anyone who knows me, like really knows me, and they'll tell you I'm not your average female. I don't dream of big expensive weddings, or do normal girl things (at least not always), I'm simple and plain, and don't like being the center of attention. I guess that's what sets me apart on this topic. We were married at the courthouse, went to the mall after and played some video games (and air hockey), took some pictures, ate at black angus, and went home. That was almost my dream wedding.

Anyways, the reason I'm even bringing this up is that we had dinner with little Ray's nino and nina last night and they asked big Ray to be the best man and me to be a bridesmaid. But holy holy! Their getting married on a yacht in the bay area, and having an open bar. I just can't fathom spending that type of money on one day, but maybe that's the frugal person in me or tightwad if you will. So here's to watching my pennies!

Ho-ho-ho!

Merry Christmas! I would have gotten on earlier to write that, but well..... Ray was being a computer commando. It happens when his wow game gets interesting again. So that being said, it only figures that our son would be the same way lol. Lil Ray is a wii commando, and can often be found laying his claim as first player. Yeah, video games are big at our house!

So, on to the more important stuff. I just want to say that I'm very grateful for the friends and family I have in my life and that of my childrens. I couldn't have better in real life and online friends than the ones I have now. And for that I'm humble and grateful. I know it sounds sappy, but eh that's me. Sappy McSapper, otherwise known as Jess.

The kids made out like bandits, when we truly did not expect anything this year. It was amazing to watch them! Scotty brought over 3 huge bags of toys for the kiddos, Kandy got them some dvd's, my mom got them *gasp* guitar hero (for the boys) and a power wheel type toy (for the girly), Timmy and Tanya got them random super heroes and a wii game (for the boys) and a cash register with food (for the girl), and Mikey got them mario party 8 (boys again, and notice the pattern here) and a ride on giraffe (girly). And this is still without the mother in law having visited yet!

So with all that loot, I was found today scrambling to find places for all these toys. Oh, and making christmas dinner! I decided the best place was on the side of the couch still wrapped in their packages. At least until we put the tree out for recycling, then we'll have some freed up room to expand the toy box(es). And, I don't mean to toot my own horn (okay yes I do, otherwise I wouldn't have brought it up) but my ham came out so darn juicy! Were full from all that ham and mashed potatoes. Tim and Tanya loved it too!

We had a long busy day, but a great one at that. Thanks to all of our friends and family for stopping by and just being in our lives!

P.S. I kick butt at wii bowling, and it's only a matter of time before I master guitar hero! Boys, duck and cover!

I went off course

The other day my dog got out. I groomed him way too short and he ended up naked, I never claimed to be a groomer; I'm just to poor at the moment to afford a real one. My bad, but to fix the situation I made him a festive holiday coat.

My dog was shaking under a park bench when my mom (the hero of the day) found him. That's how I got sidetracked from my magic christmas crafting. Grooming the dog, making a dog coat and then crying while frantically looking for my missing Willy. Yeah, that's his name; Willy. I wasted a few hours doing that, and I'm wasting a few more spending time on the computer. I could kick my own butt right now for all the time I'm wasting. I better be done by christmas is all I have to say to myself though.

On a good note though, each day gone by is a day closer to the arrival of my nephew Dominic! I'm in the process of finding just the right fabric for my sister's baby, to make him the best little baby goth wardrobe. I hope she likes what I make him, and I hope I get tons of pics of him in his stuff.

Back to school

It's been a 2 week process, and I was afraid I wouldn't get any good classes or classes that I needed. But lo and behold, I got classes I needed! So come Febuary I will be taking music 114, economics 101, biology 145, and history 104. I'm super happy, can you tell?

Fa la la la la

Tis the season for all crafters to go mad lol. Okay, well maybe just the last minute crafters like me! I've been working on quite a few projects all at once for the kiddos, and I'm pleased to say I'm almost done with some of them.

First up on the to do list is this great spiderman afghan for Orion. I found the directions/pattern for it here http://www.angelfire.com/tx5/angelcrafts/patterns/spidermanroundrippleafghan.html in case anyone wants to try their hand at one. I'm about halfway done with it, but it's very time consuming and somewhat hard on the hands so I take frequent breaks. There's that and the fact that I can only do it after 8 at night, when the kids are in bed. I can't wait to see what he thinks of it!

Then I'm working on some crochet dolls for Ollie and the nieces. I'm thinking of felting them though, so you won't be able to see any of the stuffing through them. And I'm going to sew them clothes to wear instead of crocheting them. Here's the link for the dolls http://yarneverywhere.blogspot.com/ , I'm not making a raggedy ann doll just a regular one.

And last but not least, I'm making some stockings for the kids. My boys will get elf boot stockings, and Ollie and the nieces will get ballerina shoe stockings. I'm done with 2/3 of the ballerina ones, and have the elf ones cut out and ready to be sewn. Here's the link for the ballerina shoe http://jas.familyfun.go.com/arts-and-crafts?page=CraftDisplay&craftid=11053 and the elf boot http://jas.familyfun.go.com/arts-and-crafts?page=CraftDisplay&craftid=11054 .

I'm also making each kid a pair or two of pajama bottoms. Oh and some ispy bags for the boys. The bags I'm just going to sort of flub together. And all of the stuff for these gifts cost me less than $20! I waited till Joanns was having some sales, and I used 2 50% off coupons and got some great prices, go me.

So other than all my projects, I have just enough time to catch up on a tad bit of sleep. So forgive me to all my friends who have not heard from me, I am m.i.a. until I finish all of these things. I will check in with everyone soon!

sew enthusiastic

This year were having us one of those new christmas'. I'm quite excited about it. It's going to be one of those christmas' where we won't buy any presents, but oh yes, there will be gifts! I will be making them though, and that's what will make it a great christmas. I hope this will help my kids forget about the commercialism of christmas and remember that it's about God, family and the spirit of giving. So for my mother and sister in laws, we will be making them soaps and if there's time a nice tree skirt embroidered with their last name. My mom will get a rag quilt with some of her favorite things. Our nieces will get handmade stockings with pajamas and a doll in them. Our boys will get different things. Raymond will get a hollowed out secret book to keep his treasures in, some pajama bottoms, a stocking stuffed with i spy bags and some other undecided stuff. Bobby Orion will get a crocheted spiderman afghan, some pajama bottoms, and a stocking stuffed with i spy bags. Olivia will get a rag quilt of kitties galore, and a stocking stuffed with a little purse and a doll.

I can't wait to see their faces when they open their gifts! And I know they will love them because they know how hard I work on each of my things. Even though the gifts will be from "Santa". Well, I'm off to get some of our gifts done!

College Bound...... again!

Yesterday was my aunts 30th birthday. In 2 weeks I will be 27. This got me thinking about life and career choices and all that jazz. It made me realize that I don't want to wake up one day being 30 and not having anything to show for my life. I know I have my 3 beautiful kids, but I want to finish my degree. I have some units already under my belt, and I've decided to put them to use.

Starting in spring I will be going back to school. I'm quite pleased with myself, and can't wait to get started. Ray, my mom and my kids are all rooting for me. I know it won't be before or even at 30, but by the time my baby goes to 1st or 2nd grade I should be in my career choice. Which might I add I can't wait for! So here I am today a stay at home mom and a few short years hopefully I will be a math teacher.

Sew sew

I feel like it's been a while since I've updated my blog, but in actuality it hasn't been that long. I have been super busy though and that's what's been keeping me from posting. My boutique thing is this coming Saturday, and today well, today is Tuesday! It's like I can feel time slipping through my hands and it's crunch time. I still have so much to do, and not enough time to do it in. And forget trying to get things done during the day, that's near impossible these days. I have orders to fill, kids to take care of, a house to keep track of, and I'm swimming in christmas fabric.

One of these days my head is just going to explode with the list of things I need to do! So for now I guess this little blog will suffice. Once I get the rack I will update with some pictures of the stuff I've been working on. I think their pretty incredible.

The joys I tell you!

The joys of motherhood! What can I say really, but I love being a mommy. No ands ifs or buts about it. I love that I wake up in the morning being called mommy and go to bed at night being called mommy. I love all those special moments, the ones I'll never get back. Even when it means scrubbing vomit out of my new car's seats, and staying up all night with sick kids.

Lately Ollie's been so attached to her chupi and the only way to get a kiss, is to kiss the chupi. She refuses to take it out of her mouth to talk too lol. Orion has been on a drawing binge lately, and makes up the best stories to go with his pictures. He literally beams with pride when he comes running a new drawing my way. Raymond has wanted to help with everything, and he does it wonderfully. He's such a great big brother. I love seeing him with the other two, showing all of his compassion for them.

So call this my mushy post for the week! Oh, and I've been super busy getting ready for the breakfast with santa boutique. I find myself hitting a ton of setbacks though. I was almost done with 2 dresses last night, when I ran out of thread. The night before that I was almost done with 2 dresses and my machine broke all the needles I had, trying to make buttonholes. But still I push on, and hope this turns out wonderfully. I hope I get a chance to start my banner for my table soon. The kids will have fun helping with that!

ka- boom

So the last 2 weeks or so, I haven't fully wanted to admit it or anything, but my head has been feeling like a ticking time bomb. I've been to the emergency room, and all they do is giving vicodin or morphine and send me home. Not only is 2 vicodin no longer working, but the room won't stop spinning! I haven't driven in about as long, because I'm afraid of getting dizzy while driving. I'm afraid to call my regular Dr. for fear it's not good news. In my mind I imagine the worst case scenario, cancer or a tumor something like that on/in my brain. Just functioning day to day has become increasingly difficult, and it makes me want to cry.

I've been so emotional lately, and I think it's because I keep imagining the worst case scenario. I look at my beautiful children and cry. What did I do to deserve such miracles, such blessings? And I cry. I cry at the thought that my head spinning and throbbing is a death sentence waiting to happen. I don't want to stand, because the nausea that accompanies the spinning is getting unbearable. I try to play it down to my husband and mom, but I think Ray's starting to figure it out. There's only so much I can do to hide my face wanting to throw up when I rise from my seat.

Tomorrow I tell myself, I'll call the Dr. and make an appointment. But when it comes to me, tomorrow never comes. I always find something more important to do, and push the head throbbing, dizzying pain to the back of my mind. I can't go on like this much longer, and I think tomorrow has finally come. I hope for the best, but fear the worse.....

No sleep, all sew, make me crazy!

Lately I've become quite the little insomniac. How you ask? Well, it all started with some fabric. I found some super cute skull fabric, and had this huge brainstorm of ideas. My mind raced at the thought of all the possibilities that can come from this fabric. And that, is what sparked my insomnia.

I have this brainchild idea of adorable little babies and toddlers running around in appropriate punk baby attire. Not raunchy, grungy punk; but classic punk. I've been busy writing ideas down, drawing designs, drafting patterns, but mostly sewing. I can't sleep! Even at 5 in the morning when I drag my sorry self to bed, I can't turn my mind off. I want to get it all out of me, so I can sleep. The perfectionist in me wants to rage on. Hurry up Jessica, get this line out Jessica. People are going to love these clothes Jessica! Yeah, that's how I pump myself up.

So far I have all my patterns drafted, some are cut and ready to be sewn; while others still sit on paper waiting to wow somebody. It's not all about the money mind you, but more for the thrill I get when people actually think my clothing is worthy of buying. I get a rush. And I've put so much thought and all my skills into this line, that I'm starting to worry about failing. Yes, people can tell me that it looks good and I'll believe them, to a point. BUT you know your work is really good, when you have people lined up wanting to buy it. I know there's a difference. I shop. I can say, "oh that's cute, " and pass it by, but when it's really cute I have to buy it.

So here I sit rambling on at 1 something in the morning, when there's pants to be made, and fabric to be cut, and adorable punk babies to be made. I'm trying to talk myself into going to bed, because the boys have school in the morning. And with that, I leave you with my rock princess dress. Enjoy!

Another suitor for the princess...

Today I was watching Aladdin with the kids (one of my all time favorites by the way), and it dawned on me how different I thought things were going to turn out. You know, like when your a kid and you want to be something so bad that doesn't make any sense at all; and now as an adult your not anywhere close to that. When I was 4 I wanted to be a pound puppy so bad, I'd squish my face up, crawl on all fours and bark. I've been told repeatedly that I bit a boy too. And when Aladdin came out, I wanted to be a princess. There's a line in that movie, "another suitor for the princess," that made me remember this. When I wanted to be a princess, all I could imagine was lines of people waiting for just the chance to catch a glimpse of me, people waiting on me hand and foot, and the most gorgeous clothes imaginable. And now, it's been brought to my attention by my ever so loving friends (thanks guys), that I am nowhere near how they'd thought I'd be. In highschool I was still such a big kid it wasn't funny. Perhaps I was mature in some areas, after all I did work through most of high school. But none of my friends could envision me as a mini van driving, mom of 3, who sews and crochets, and is an avid p.t.a member.

Which all brings me back to the point I wanted to make. Who says I'm no where near what I wanted to be? Okay fine, maybe I don't have the title princess (that belongs to my daughter), but there are a ton of similarities. People do wait in line every day to catch a glimpse of me, while their waiting their usually asking for breakfast but still, they wait till they see me open my eyes. I have people wait on me hand and foot, my kids are very eager to help me out. You should see these kids on market days, fighting over who gets to carry what. And the clothes, psh.... I can make the clothes. So the way I see it is, my dreams came true!

And, I'm still a pound puppy too! This is very evident when you catch me crawling around the house on all fours with the baby barking at each other.

The flu caught up to us

Let me start this one off by saying, "Thanks Big Ray!" Yes I'm blaming this one right square on the shoulders of the big guy. He was the first to get sick, and infect our family with the horrible stomach virus, so that makes this his fault. So this was how our latest conversation went:
Me: This is your fault.
Ray: How is this my fault?
Me: Because I said so, you brought it home.
Ray: What was I supposed to do, sleep outside in a box?
Me: Yes, then we wouldn't have gotten sick!

Ah yes, that's classic us there. Stupid, simple, pointless! But I got off the subject. I'm a bit cranky to say the least. I was up till 4:30 last night/this morning with a puking 15 month old who finally got a spurt of energy. The two and a half hours I spent with her in the ER probably didn't help either. So here I sit blogging my whiny self away.

The best part is, I'm feeling naseasu now too! Oh, and my 5 year old just threw up all over himself, my hall, and the restroom. Actually, I'd be pretty darn surprised right now if any of it actually made it into the toilet. Now to get my equipment ready and scrub it all up. Ah, the joys of motherhood!

PTA Carnival

So today was a super busy mom kind of day. You know those days. The kind of day where your running late and would forget your head if it wasn't attached to your body kind of day. Yeah, that was today.

We were 20 minutes late to school. I think that should have been my first sign that it was going to be a long day. Then I had to try to chase around Miss Priss while trying to cover game booths. Did I mention that this was not easy? Then we had to decorate the booths. Trying to be all sleuth like I strapped Priss into her stroller first. But low and behold, my height was against me this time. I was too short to hang the decorations on my booth, even standing on a chair. That's the part I don't dare tell the husband, yeah he'll make fun of me till the end of time for that. Anyways, genious me goes and stands on the booths little bit of siding that I could. That was scary! The whole thing shook and I felt like I was going to tumble to my death (okay not really, but it would have hurt). The whole day after the set up is a blur. It was a mix of telling Priss to get off the dirty floor, get that out of your mouth, and telling kids I ran out of that letter. My boys had a blast, and I think they liked bringing their friends by the booth to say "hey, this is my mom."

So thanks to the pta for an eventful day. Thanks to the cafeteria for a dry sandwhich. Thanks to the sun for relentlessly beating down on me today. But all in all, thanks to everyone there for making it a great day for the kids!

I hit the floor running

The last few nights, I've stayed up late sewing my fingers to the bone. Why, you ask? Well, because it's my hobby and stress reliever. It's also my way of helping the family earn a little more income. Lately I'm stuck on creating my fall line. I've been taking in quite a few custom orders, and it makes me proud. So if you feel so inclined, check out my stuff. I'm on myspace at www.myspace.com/sandlotclothing Here's a sneak peek of one of my fall outfits

Yay hospital visit

It's always Orion! I feel so bad for this kid, he's the most accident prone of the 3. I'm just waiting for the day he breaks a bone, this kid is just..... ahhhh. So the boys were wrestling around, doing their normal stuff and O get's knocked to the floor. He stands up and there's just blood streaming down the back of his head. Of course me being me, I calmly get a rag and press it to his head. I call Big Ray to hurry home and start getting stuff for the kids together. That's me on the outside. Now on the inside, HUGE difference! I was freaking out, I thought he was going to bleed to death. We get him to the hospital, and they glue him shut. So now he gets to stay with me tomorrow to be under my watchful surveilence (did I mention I was watching them rough house?) for a few days. And I've chosen to sleep with my boo boo to make sure he's fine through the night.

So score another battle scar for my babe! I hope he doesn't look like mince meat by the time he's a teenager!

I hate money

There's never enough of it around here. I feel so lame lately and useless. I'm not used to only being at home anymore and I feel like a hermit. I miss working, it was a huge part of me. Yes I'm content with all the crafting time I've been getting in lately, but it's not the same. And not working is causing all this wonderful stress about paying the bills and such. Grand isn't it? So I've been on this huge pity party lately, and feel like a failure. Like I let my kids down. I hate feeling like I'm at someone's mercy. It's that feeling like when your a kid and you did something wrong, when your mom catches you and you feel your stomach sink. Yeah, it's like that feeling 24/7 lately. I can't sleep, and I've lost my appetite. Ugh, I'm at a loss here. I've been praying alot lately too, for something to happen. I need a miracle here! Actually, I just need a job. Out of all the resume's I've sent and applications I've filled out, someone call me. Back to the sewing machine and glue gun.......

so confused.....

Am I the only one who ever has those moments, the ones where you just fall apart at the seams and wonder what your doing? I've been having one of those days, okay weeks. I haven't been out of my pajamas and I just want to be left alone. The husband doesn't understand, which makes me question my decisions even more. I think that in itself is a long story. I hate that I feel so lost in life right now. And I hate that I let myself be a doormat to others. I just want to find hapiness. I want to just be able to provide for my kids, and be incredibly content with the path my life takes. I really hope to be there someday.

Not autistic enough

Wow, I never thought I'd hear someone say that to me about my son. So even though he's on the spectrum, he's not autistic enough to qualify for any extra services. BS, I say! I ran into some guys who work for regional center the other night at work though, and they said he should qualify. So here I am waiting for the secretary to call me back about when I can pick up a copy of my son's report to submit to Regional. Ugh, this is so tiresome. I have to go here and go there, and get this and get that. Why can't someone just realize that he still needs help. I'm trying to help my son be a functioning person, and everyone is denying me resources to help him accomplish that. I'll get there eventually, but until then the fight continues.

Lucky me

So lately I've been feeling like my feet aren't touching the ground. I'm ecstatic and loving this feeling. The last 2 nights that I worked, I made awesome money. And last night, I bought 1 $5 raffle ticket and won a raider's jersey. My boss told me I should play the lotto, and now I'm starting to think I should too. My mom always told me that when God closes a door he opens a window, and this is my window. With the money I've made I was able to pay for the venue for the boys' birthday party and buy them an amazing present. I've just lucked out lately and I really hope it continues... at least for a while anyway!

One of those weird moods

So lately I've been doing a ton of thinking, and I've come to the conclusion that I've changed. I can't say it's for the better, but I'm different. I get sick of all the high school drama that some adults bring, it's MADDENING!!!! Some people just don't grow up. At work, there's so much tension between the girls and talking behind backs. Then there's the whole talking bad about other girls to the customers. I feel like I have to be everyone's mother and always be the voice of reason. Geez, just grow up already!

I've even begun to feel like I've outgrown a few of my friendships lately too. Things just aren't the same. I've found myself resenting comments that they've made, not just towards me, but towards other friends. And everyone is so adamant that their right, everyone else is wrong; and it comes off as really pushy. I don't like pushy, to each their own. I'm really tired of the whole tit for tat aspect of some friendships I have either, and I find myself distancing from them. I feel somewhat free now, even though I feel guilty for doing it. I know mentally though, it's the best thing for me. Okay, that's enough of my moral ramblings.... I'm getting off my soap box.

Crazy night!

So it's almost 3 in the morning and I find myself sitting at the computer blogging instead of sleeping... what's wrong with me?!!! Ugh, it was one of "those" nights. I had to work (stupid Sunday club night), and it was a hard night. My feet are ready to fall off they hurt so bad, and I'm wide awake from all the coffee I drank earlier at Ihop. Mmmm, coffee! Great, now I want coffee. I really don't know where I'm going with this, but it's 3 in the morning and I'm wired, so enjoy my ramblings. Maybe I'll finish that black mitten I've been doing for my kids swap. Eh, maybe tomorrow.

For now, I think I'll amuse myself with a list of things I have to do tomorrow. Take pictures of Ollie's old clothes to sell, go to the market, clean the garage, take pictures of whatever were selling from the garage, clean the bathroom, buy the boys some undershirts and new underwear, and buy a pump for my stroller tires. Now that I look at this list, I'm sure there's a few things I can put off till the middle of the week lol. Okay, I've had it! I'm going to go annoy Ray by flopping around the bed until I fall asleep.

Schools back in session!

This year I have 2 babes off to school, and it breaks my heart. Why do they have to grow up so fast? Don't get me wrong, I think I'm going to quite enjoy some peace in the house; but knowing I can't have anymore babies and seeing 2 of the three we have start school.... well, it makes me sad.
And I'm honestly baffled byhow much it costs to clothe kids for school. Stupid uniforms! $110 for 2 pairs of shoes (1 each boy), $197 for 10 pairs of pants and 4 pairs of shorts (5 pants, 2 shorts per boy), $30 for socks for both, $104 for 10 polo shirts (5 each) and 2 backpacks. I still have to buy undershirts and underwear! I can't believe how much it is. Oh well, it's needed, but still.
This week we'll go for haircuts and get our last minute items and be ready for school next week! I had my stomach dropping moment this past week when I got the letter from Orion's school saying who his teacher is. *sigh* 1 baby left!

I got my labels!

So my clothing labels came in this weekend and of course I had to put them on something! I made the boys some cool little outfits to wear on their lunch date with grandma and they loved them. I'm quite pleased with how they came out and the boys are just so proud of them. They couldn't wait to let grandma know what mom made them. So without further waiting here's their outfits

The best sewster

So my ever imaginative kids have decided to call mommy the best sewster lol. I love my new name. I love how proud they are of me when I show them something new that I finished. And I love how they could go on about what they like about what I finish.That being said, my pile of never ending projects is getting pretty high. It seems as though I start more projects than I can finish. I have a few finished, but I am nowhere near my personal goal. I want to have a nice array of things to post in my Etsy shop, but so far have a few dresses half done. Ollie has been super clingy, and made sewing during the day pretty much impossible. All in all though, I think in another week or so I should have everything on my sewing pile completed and be off onto other things. Here's a small preview of what I'm working on

missing in action

So I know I haven't written in a bit, but ugh... so much going on! We had Olivia's baptism and *whew* what a relief. But then with our extended family, we had our trials and trivialisations. Boy what a battle, but I'm glad to say everything is seemingly okay now. I can't wait to get back to sewing (I have a few dresses in mind), but it doesn't seem like it'll happen this week :( I did make myself a cute little summer dress out of one of Big Ray's huge button up shirts that he doesn't wear. I'll post pictures of it as soon as I get a chance to wear it, maybe tomorrow (weather permitting). My house is a wreck (from the week before the baptism), while I was busy sewing our clothes nothing got done. I'm still trying to piece things together and catch up on all the laundry. Oh, and as a special surprise.... we got Orion a pet! A beautiful long haired black and white kitten we call Boba (he wanted to name him after himself lol). He looks like the long haired version of Monkey (my cat). It's been a week now and so far so good, he's been feeding him and taking really good care of him. I'm proud. In the little bit of spare time I have, I've been drawing out sketches for future projects and drooling over a new stroller/pram that I probably won't get (stupid money). *Sigh*, back to cleaning I suppose!

Craziness

So this coming Saturday is Ollie Wubbas' baptism (finally), and I'm feeling the pressure. I have the boys outfits half finished, and my dress is still in pieces next to Bertha (my machine). *sigh*, I really want to wear MY dress to the baptism, but between everything I need to get done for the baptism and the kids, I feel like it's almost impossible. I hope I don't end up having to wear a dress in the closet. I'm having a problem reattaching the bust and without a dress form it's super hard to pin it in place on myself. That's got me down. The boys outfits were coming along great... until I burned a hole in Raymond's faux tie with my iron, thus ruining the tie and the iron. It's the fabric, but it has to match his short pants so I have to use that; it just doesn't applique very well. I'm going to have to figure something else out. Bobby's shirt is coming along quite well, now that I've figured out that I needed ball point needles and not standard. Duh! I'm really quite happy with the results, even though their not finished all the way. I've set a solid deadline of Tuesday night to have the boys' outfits finished, that way I'll have the rest of the week to work on my dress. I've also been slipping in some sewing for my shop as well, but I'm not realistically expecting to be able to list anything until the baptism is over and done with. *Please be a success and not a drama filled day*

Baby steps (mine)

Today I took a small step towards my goal of selling my clothes. I opened an Etsy shop, but I haven't made anything yet to sell (lol). I'm hoping to put a few things in it by this weekend, but it all depends on how much the kids let me sew. Slowly but surely I feel like I'm going to get there.

I'm super in love with making Olly rompers this week. Mainly because she gets so mad when she's trying to crawl and she gets caught on her dress'. Oh, and the fact that bonnets look uber cute with the rompers. She's going to hate me when she's older for dressing her like this, but I promise it serves a purpose other than being adorable. She doesn't have enough hair to cover her scalp, and I don't want her to get sunburn on her scalp. What better way to protect her than to put on a hat?

I'm also hoping to make the boys some shorts this week. I bought them this awesome fabric that they love. Orion got a blue fabric with motorcycles that have flames coming from them, it reminds us all of ghostrider. Raymond got black fabric with pirate skulls on it, he's so like his daddy. I'm hoping to do something with the leftover fabric and their shirts to make some sort of set, but then again they might just be too old for stuff like that. We'll see what I can come up with.

Melancholy

I finally finished the halter dress I started for Olivia like 2 weeks ago. Not that it was hard, I was just in a funk. All it needed was a bit more of elastic on one of the legs of the panties, and I had to hem the bottom of the dress. I'm happy about that, that it's finished.... sort of. It looks a little too plain, and needs something. Maybe I'll baste on some trim tomorrow to see how that looks, if it's a nice though she'll be wearing it.

And my dress.... *ugh* don't even get me started. The designs I had drawn up for it, were so wrong for this fabric. I'm very insistent though on using this fabric, so I'm pushing on. The shape looked like a bag on me, and makes me look fatter than I am (I think it's the pattern). I've chopped the poor thing up so much now that it's far from where it started. After cutting off the bust area and adding in some well needed darts, I'm somewhat pleased with the shape it's taking now. At least it doesn't look like a bag anymore. I still have so much work to do on it though, and I'm afraid it won't be ready in time. Ray's been super good at encouraging me to finish it and giving me those words I need to hear (you know, it looks really good, and I like that) lol. I think I'll ask my mom though, no offense but my baby knows nothing about fashion.

Today was also a day I've been dreading for a while now. I started to wean Olivia off of the breast and onto a bottle. She took it pretty fine during the day, but boy was she being stubborn at bedtime. I'm weak at heart though and gave in.... sort of. I nursed her some, and then sang her to sleep with some random made up song lol. I don't think nights will go over well for her in the transition. I hope I'm making the right choice, it's hard to give it up (for both of us) but I haven't slept through the night in almost 9 months. It'll be nice to have a break, when Ray helps.

I better go to bed now, I have no idea what kind of night I'm in for!

Drowning!

I'm in over my head here! I have a new sickness, and I can't stop. So not many people know this, it's just a little secret/semi secret. I don't know how much longer it'll be a secret since I'm blogging about it and assuming any of my friends read my blog lol. Anyway, I plan on sewing my butt off for the next year and then sell everything through the summer at various craft fairs, farmers markets, and swapmeet type things. Sort of my own boutique, but without having to pay for a permanent space. Anyway, since I've decided on this I've been buying material like crazy. The thing is, I have yet to complete any outfits besides a few for my Wubbas. I just got back from Joanns and spent way more than I should have, including the money I was supposed to use for her pictures tomorrow. *Sigh* I'm going to have to admit defeat on this one and ask for more money for her pictures. And I need to seriously get my butt in gear and crank out some outfits and stop hording it all. Wish me luck!

Atlas

Today is one of those days, that I feel the weight of the world on my shoulders... okay maybe a little dramatic, the weight of my household at least. This is not a good thing for me, since I have so much to do. My mom has commissioned me to crochet a baby blanket for someone she knows, I've been trying to draft a design and pattern I like to make a dress for my daughters baptism (I'm still undecided), I need to finish making the invitations for the baptism, make some phone calls and appointments, and I still need to keep up with my daily routine of cooking and cleaning and being mom. I hate these days, when all I feel like doing is crying. Perhaps as I continue on with my day my busy schedule will keep my all to cluttered mind off of those things. *sigh*.... if only, I'll probably end up doing everything while crying (I hope I don't sew over any fingers).

Jessica the seamstress!

So lately since the weather has been super nice, I've gotten into the habit of making dresses for Olivia. So far I've made 3, but 1 of them doesn't fit her because I didn't take her measurements (just sort of eyeballed her), but the others fit just fine. I'm so excited to be able to do this for my baby girl, but sort of sad that there's nothing I can really make the boys. In the winter I plan on making them some pajama pants, but that's about all we think would look good on them that's homemade. Besides the dresses, I made us some curtains. There a bit off, but you can't really tell. I got a little lazy with them too, and instead of making panels at the top to hang them from rings I just sewed the 2 layers together. They serve their purpose and that's all that counts.

So this last week I've been sick with a bad cold and had no energy. I feel a little better this week, but I have all 3 kids because of Easter vacation. I'm sort of sad that I won't be able to sew that much this week, but we've been having a blast together! I've been super impressed with myself and my creative ability lately, and I feel like I'm fitting that stereotype of the sahm or old fashioned mom (whichever it is) but I actually like that stereotype. Anyways enough jabbering on for today, enjoy the pictures of Olivia's dresses!

Shaving the dog

Today is such a pretty day, I think I'll shave my dogs. It makes a mess and is a pain to do, but my dogs are so happy when it's over. I'll take pictures when I'm done and post them. This will be my second time doing it on my own, and I love it!

The joys of mommy-dom

My darling baby girl, has been such a banshee for the past few weeks and now it's evident why. We've officially got teefers! She got her first one the other day, and a second popped up this morning. It's all so exciting all over again!

Fake

Today is just really one of those days where I am just unsure of everything. I'm tired of things being the way they are, and I feel like I'm falling apart. Nothing seems real or right today. I guess the best way to say it, is that I feel like I'm just faking my way through this life. I try hard to stay positive, and do what I have to do. I'm tired of feeling negative and pessismistic because someone else does. I don't want anyone to give anything up that they don't want for me. I do what I do in life because it feels right to me, those are the morals I carry. I know I'm just rambling on, but either way it feels good to get some of it out.

Completely Random

So this last week, I've ben trying desperately to get Bobby into preschool. He's been on the waiting list for state preschool for months now, but some of the moms at mommy and me told me about a universal preschool. So after much hassle, he starts Monday. He was supposed to start this past Friday, but of course they needed more papers. So Monday it is. With all the driving around I've been doing this week though, I feel so weak! I really would just like a day to myself to rest, read or crochet. Basically just lie around and do something for me. I have like no energy, but I have to keep pushing myself. Between taking and picking up Raymond from school, there's mommy and me, and taking and picking up Bobby from preschool now, Olivia's clingyness, cooking, and then there's cleaning. I need another me!

Besides all of that, I've been feeling like a bit of a failure or like I did something wrong. Raymond's already been diagnosed with ADHD and ODD. We really feel like he also has a mild form of autism, but since our insurance changed I have to start all over at getting a full diagnosis. And now with Bobby having a speech delay, it's a bit overwhelming. And I hate to admit it, but I think my Bobby has a bit of a learning disability as well. I take each day as they come and play everything by ear, but somedays just really take a toll on me. I try my best to give all 3 the time and attention they need, but it's getting harder with the more we find out. Patience is a virtue that I'm desperately trying to maintain. I try not to think about any of this, and not to focus on any of it..... but it's really hard not to feel like there might have been something I could have done to prevent all of this. Since I just started babbling on, I'm off for now!

soup weather

It was pouring rain last night and all I could think about was, yes it's finally soup weather. It's so cold and just ewww outside right now. Last night I made home made chicken noodle soup, and tonight I think I'm going to make albondigas. Maybe that's too much soup and I'll just make tacos. Either way were having something with hamburger meat, because I already took it out of the freezer. The rain does something to me, it makes me terribly lazy but terribly cuddly at the same time. I want to lay in bed all day when it rains and just cuddle with my kids. And since it's been so cold I'm shuddering at the thought of paying our gas bill this month. I've been running the heater all day everday at like 75. I hate being cold. I can tolerate being hot by wearing less clothes, but cold just irks me. Maybe today I'll try not to run the heater, because I'll be running the oven. I still have to finish making my Wubbas' monthly supply of baby food. *sigh* I think I have a love-hate relationship with the rain....

Baby Food

I really haven't had much time lately to do any of my little hobbies. Mainly because I've been trying to catch up on baby food. I really don't like to run out, which I was so close to doing lol. I have enough now for a few more weeks, but I could still stand to make more so that Olivia gets a better variety. So for now, she's got plenty of sweet potatoes, squash, peas, bananas, and applesauce. I have some pictures just waiting to be picked up at CVS, that need to be scrapbooked. I've been dying to make Olivia a shopping cart cover with this amazing fabric I have. I have a few little projects that still need working on. And now to find the time to do some of these things!