Fake

Today is just really one of those days where I am just unsure of everything. I'm tired of things being the way they are, and I feel like I'm falling apart. Nothing seems real or right today. I guess the best way to say it, is that I feel like I'm just faking my way through this life. I try hard to stay positive, and do what I have to do. I'm tired of feeling negative and pessismistic because someone else does. I don't want anyone to give anything up that they don't want for me. I do what I do in life because it feels right to me, those are the morals I carry. I know I'm just rambling on, but either way it feels good to get some of it out.

Completely Random

So this last week, I've ben trying desperately to get Bobby into preschool. He's been on the waiting list for state preschool for months now, but some of the moms at mommy and me told me about a universal preschool. So after much hassle, he starts Monday. He was supposed to start this past Friday, but of course they needed more papers. So Monday it is. With all the driving around I've been doing this week though, I feel so weak! I really would just like a day to myself to rest, read or crochet. Basically just lie around and do something for me. I have like no energy, but I have to keep pushing myself. Between taking and picking up Raymond from school, there's mommy and me, and taking and picking up Bobby from preschool now, Olivia's clingyness, cooking, and then there's cleaning. I need another me!

Besides all of that, I've been feeling like a bit of a failure or like I did something wrong. Raymond's already been diagnosed with ADHD and ODD. We really feel like he also has a mild form of autism, but since our insurance changed I have to start all over at getting a full diagnosis. And now with Bobby having a speech delay, it's a bit overwhelming. And I hate to admit it, but I think my Bobby has a bit of a learning disability as well. I take each day as they come and play everything by ear, but somedays just really take a toll on me. I try my best to give all 3 the time and attention they need, but it's getting harder with the more we find out. Patience is a virtue that I'm desperately trying to maintain. I try not to think about any of this, and not to focus on any of it..... but it's really hard not to feel like there might have been something I could have done to prevent all of this. Since I just started babbling on, I'm off for now!

soup weather

It was pouring rain last night and all I could think about was, yes it's finally soup weather. It's so cold and just ewww outside right now. Last night I made home made chicken noodle soup, and tonight I think I'm going to make albondigas. Maybe that's too much soup and I'll just make tacos. Either way were having something with hamburger meat, because I already took it out of the freezer. The rain does something to me, it makes me terribly lazy but terribly cuddly at the same time. I want to lay in bed all day when it rains and just cuddle with my kids. And since it's been so cold I'm shuddering at the thought of paying our gas bill this month. I've been running the heater all day everday at like 75. I hate being cold. I can tolerate being hot by wearing less clothes, but cold just irks me. Maybe today I'll try not to run the heater, because I'll be running the oven. I still have to finish making my Wubbas' monthly supply of baby food. *sigh* I think I have a love-hate relationship with the rain....

Baby Food

I really haven't had much time lately to do any of my little hobbies. Mainly because I've been trying to catch up on baby food. I really don't like to run out, which I was so close to doing lol. I have enough now for a few more weeks, but I could still stand to make more so that Olivia gets a better variety. So for now, she's got plenty of sweet potatoes, squash, peas, bananas, and applesauce. I have some pictures just waiting to be picked up at CVS, that need to be scrapbooked. I've been dying to make Olivia a shopping cart cover with this amazing fabric I have. I have a few little projects that still need working on. And now to find the time to do some of these things!

Go bears!

So I finished the Chicago bears blanket late on Christmas eve. But the point is, I finished it (yay)! I think it came out pretty good, even though I wanted to do more detail on it. I really wanted to embroider the bears face (the logo really) in the middle of the blanket, but it wasn't coming out good at all. So I ended up doing a small embroidery of the "C" in one of the corners. I feel really good about this project, especially since it was my first blanket. It took me about a month to do, and ended up being as big as me. So as promised I'm posting a picture of it. I don't have a link to the pattern, I got it out of one of those $1 Bernat baby books. It's a basic granny square though, with a sc trim in orange.

Now, my hubby's wristwarmers came out fantastically. But of course, he didn't really care for them. Well at least for out in public. He chose the yarn, and then complained about how it came out looking like ladybugs, lol. Go figure. He wears them in the house, good enough for me. I guess I had a higher hope for them helping him with his arthritis in the early morning hours at work. Oh well. I'm putting up a picture of these as well, and here's the link to the pattern for them http://www.marloscrochetcorner.com/wrist%20warmers.html

So now that Christmas is over I have a few other projects that I need to work on. I have to get started on making some baby socks for my friend Heather, and a baby set (beanie and mitts) for my friend Becca. Those should be fast projects, and of course I'll be posting pictures of the finished items with links to the patterns.

Christmas Gifts

Christmas is now 5 days away, and I feel so rushed. Not only am I trying to finish the blanket for my stepdad, but I'm trying to make my husband some wrist warmers and a matching beanie. Thankfully the wrist warmers and beanie work up quickly, and I'm almost done. I'm hoping the wrist warmers make it a little easier for him to work this winter, since he has athritis but still needs to use his hands/fingers. But I think I'm going to short the blanket and just make it a throw, and I'm still going to embroider it with the Bears logo. *Sigh* I feel like I won't have it all done by then. I know the logo is alot of work. Also, I can't decide whether to do the trim on the blanket as a regular row (in orange), or as a single crochet row. Decisions, decisions.... I'll post pics of my christmas gifts as soon as their done. Peace, love, and hapiness!

Cutting it close

So I know there's not to many days left before christmas, and I'm just cutting it so close with this blanket I'm working on. I don't know if I've already mentioned it, but it's for my step dad who's a huge chicago bears fan. I'm making a typical granny square blanket, then I'm going to do an orange trim and embroider the orange bear face in the middle. I'll definitely post pictures of it when I'm done. For now, it's so hard to find time for a big project like this. Olivia keeps me so busy during the day. I really only get a chance to crochet for 2 hours at night when the kids are in bed. That's fine for small projects like hats, but for this blanket it seems to be taking forever. Eh, I think I'll post pictures of what I have so far anyway.... but remember it's still a work in progress! Here's what I have so far, cheers for now!