Another suitor for the princess...

Today I was watching Aladdin with the kids (one of my all time favorites by the way), and it dawned on me how different I thought things were going to turn out. You know, like when your a kid and you want to be something so bad that doesn't make any sense at all; and now as an adult your not anywhere close to that. When I was 4 I wanted to be a pound puppy so bad, I'd squish my face up, crawl on all fours and bark. I've been told repeatedly that I bit a boy too. And when Aladdin came out, I wanted to be a princess. There's a line in that movie, "another suitor for the princess," that made me remember this. When I wanted to be a princess, all I could imagine was lines of people waiting for just the chance to catch a glimpse of me, people waiting on me hand and foot, and the most gorgeous clothes imaginable. And now, it's been brought to my attention by my ever so loving friends (thanks guys), that I am nowhere near how they'd thought I'd be. In highschool I was still such a big kid it wasn't funny. Perhaps I was mature in some areas, after all I did work through most of high school. But none of my friends could envision me as a mini van driving, mom of 3, who sews and crochets, and is an avid p.t.a member.

Which all brings me back to the point I wanted to make. Who says I'm no where near what I wanted to be? Okay fine, maybe I don't have the title princess (that belongs to my daughter), but there are a ton of similarities. People do wait in line every day to catch a glimpse of me, while their waiting their usually asking for breakfast but still, they wait till they see me open my eyes. I have people wait on me hand and foot, my kids are very eager to help me out. You should see these kids on market days, fighting over who gets to carry what. And the clothes, psh.... I can make the clothes. So the way I see it is, my dreams came true!

And, I'm still a pound puppy too! This is very evident when you catch me crawling around the house on all fours with the baby barking at each other.

The flu caught up to us

Let me start this one off by saying, "Thanks Big Ray!" Yes I'm blaming this one right square on the shoulders of the big guy. He was the first to get sick, and infect our family with the horrible stomach virus, so that makes this his fault. So this was how our latest conversation went:
Me: This is your fault.
Ray: How is this my fault?
Me: Because I said so, you brought it home.
Ray: What was I supposed to do, sleep outside in a box?
Me: Yes, then we wouldn't have gotten sick!

Ah yes, that's classic us there. Stupid, simple, pointless! But I got off the subject. I'm a bit cranky to say the least. I was up till 4:30 last night/this morning with a puking 15 month old who finally got a spurt of energy. The two and a half hours I spent with her in the ER probably didn't help either. So here I sit blogging my whiny self away.

The best part is, I'm feeling naseasu now too! Oh, and my 5 year old just threw up all over himself, my hall, and the restroom. Actually, I'd be pretty darn surprised right now if any of it actually made it into the toilet. Now to get my equipment ready and scrub it all up. Ah, the joys of motherhood!

PTA Carnival

So today was a super busy mom kind of day. You know those days. The kind of day where your running late and would forget your head if it wasn't attached to your body kind of day. Yeah, that was today.

We were 20 minutes late to school. I think that should have been my first sign that it was going to be a long day. Then I had to try to chase around Miss Priss while trying to cover game booths. Did I mention that this was not easy? Then we had to decorate the booths. Trying to be all sleuth like I strapped Priss into her stroller first. But low and behold, my height was against me this time. I was too short to hang the decorations on my booth, even standing on a chair. That's the part I don't dare tell the husband, yeah he'll make fun of me till the end of time for that. Anyways, genious me goes and stands on the booths little bit of siding that I could. That was scary! The whole thing shook and I felt like I was going to tumble to my death (okay not really, but it would have hurt). The whole day after the set up is a blur. It was a mix of telling Priss to get off the dirty floor, get that out of your mouth, and telling kids I ran out of that letter. My boys had a blast, and I think they liked bringing their friends by the booth to say "hey, this is my mom."

So thanks to the pta for an eventful day. Thanks to the cafeteria for a dry sandwhich. Thanks to the sun for relentlessly beating down on me today. But all in all, thanks to everyone there for making it a great day for the kids!

I hit the floor running

The last few nights, I've stayed up late sewing my fingers to the bone. Why, you ask? Well, because it's my hobby and stress reliever. It's also my way of helping the family earn a little more income. Lately I'm stuck on creating my fall line. I've been taking in quite a few custom orders, and it makes me proud. So if you feel so inclined, check out my stuff. I'm on myspace at www.myspace.com/sandlotclothing Here's a sneak peek of one of my fall outfits

Yay hospital visit

It's always Orion! I feel so bad for this kid, he's the most accident prone of the 3. I'm just waiting for the day he breaks a bone, this kid is just..... ahhhh. So the boys were wrestling around, doing their normal stuff and O get's knocked to the floor. He stands up and there's just blood streaming down the back of his head. Of course me being me, I calmly get a rag and press it to his head. I call Big Ray to hurry home and start getting stuff for the kids together. That's me on the outside. Now on the inside, HUGE difference! I was freaking out, I thought he was going to bleed to death. We get him to the hospital, and they glue him shut. So now he gets to stay with me tomorrow to be under my watchful surveilence (did I mention I was watching them rough house?) for a few days. And I've chosen to sleep with my boo boo to make sure he's fine through the night.

So score another battle scar for my babe! I hope he doesn't look like mince meat by the time he's a teenager!

I hate money

There's never enough of it around here. I feel so lame lately and useless. I'm not used to only being at home anymore and I feel like a hermit. I miss working, it was a huge part of me. Yes I'm content with all the crafting time I've been getting in lately, but it's not the same. And not working is causing all this wonderful stress about paying the bills and such. Grand isn't it? So I've been on this huge pity party lately, and feel like a failure. Like I let my kids down. I hate feeling like I'm at someone's mercy. It's that feeling like when your a kid and you did something wrong, when your mom catches you and you feel your stomach sink. Yeah, it's like that feeling 24/7 lately. I can't sleep, and I've lost my appetite. Ugh, I'm at a loss here. I've been praying alot lately too, for something to happen. I need a miracle here! Actually, I just need a job. Out of all the resume's I've sent and applications I've filled out, someone call me. Back to the sewing machine and glue gun.......

so confused.....

Am I the only one who ever has those moments, the ones where you just fall apart at the seams and wonder what your doing? I've been having one of those days, okay weeks. I haven't been out of my pajamas and I just want to be left alone. The husband doesn't understand, which makes me question my decisions even more. I think that in itself is a long story. I hate that I feel so lost in life right now. And I hate that I let myself be a doormat to others. I just want to find hapiness. I want to just be able to provide for my kids, and be incredibly content with the path my life takes. I really hope to be there someday.